Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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