i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
