I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
