if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
