Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
