I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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