Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
