I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
there is glitter all over my balls
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