I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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