Its about making memories worth repressing
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love having hate sex.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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