so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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