At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
