I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
