I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
