I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
