Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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