So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
