Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
