I'm really into asian looking animals
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
