I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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