My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
