I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's blow job season.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
