Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
