there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
