sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
