I feel like I'm in dance class right now
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
