Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
