I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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