Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
