Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
