I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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