we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
