if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
