Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
