tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
