Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
