I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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