My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
