I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize