need another drink. this is the easiest way
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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