Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
