"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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