Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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