Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
