all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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