I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
