I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
