I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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