we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
