please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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