Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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