when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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