Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's never too late to be topless.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
