She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
