i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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