it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
