I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
